Blog

THOSE DAYS ARE GONE

 

I was twenty-three, living in LA, and working on the dream…
To someday see my name in lights up on the silver screen.
I knew right then that things were wrong, and that I needed to change…
The way I saw and the things I did and the spelling of my name.

Cause those days are gone,
Like a fired bullet that’s gone astray,
They’ve packed their bags,
And said goodbye,
And up and flown away.

So I packed my car, and came back home, and joined up with the fight…
To make the world a better place, and show them all what’s right.
I played that part for twenty years, and finally I just broke…
And now I’m clinging to that piece of finely shredded rope.

Cause those days are gone,
Like a fired bullet that’s gone astray,
They’ve packed their bags,
And said goodbye,
And up and flown away.

No one ‘round me understands exactly what went wrong…
They just know, because I say, that I’ve been doing it too long.
So if you’re scared, or if you’re hurt, just dial 9-1-1…
And in due time, someone will come, but I won’t be the one.

Cause those days are gone,
Like a fired bullet that’s gone astray,
They’ve packed their bags,
And said goodbye,
And up and flown away.

IT’S GETTING HARD FOR EVERYONE

 

Mac spent twenty years serving the law…
Tried to shield himself from all he heard and saw.
When it came time for Mac to move on…
He found that his chances and choices were gone.
Mac gave up the best years of his life…
Now Mac’s living in his car with his kids and his wife.

It’s getting hard for being older
It’s getting hard for having fun
It’s getting hard for staying sober
It’s getting hard for everyone

Darryl went to war with the flag on his arm…
Went over there with his skill and his charm.
He fought the good fight till the fightin’ was done…
Came back home and found there was no-one.
His mama had died and his daddy had left…
His girl had checked out with a guy named Seth.
Now Darryl’s sleeping on a bench in the park…
Wondering why his country left him in the dark.

It’s getting hard for being older
It’s getting hard for having fun
It’s getting hard for staying sober
It’s getting hard for everyone

Cause it’s a hard transition when you lay down your guns…
When they’ve used up your insides and you’ve used up your funds.
But you’ll always bleed blue, no matter what they say…
So just pick yourself up and get on with your day.

It’s getting hard for being older
It’s getting hard for having fun
It’s getting hard for staying sober
It’s getting hard for everyone

Cause there ain’t no-one coming to help you my friend…
You’re well on your own, and you’ll be to the end.
Whether you turn the corner or you turn the page,
There is no place you can hide…
From the things you’ve done that you tried to forget and buried deep inside.
There’s a whisper floating on the wind and it cannot be denied…
Cause when you’re forgotten and unforgiven, that’s when you know that you have died.

It’s getting hard for being older
It’s getting hard for having fun
It’s getting hard for staying sober
It’s getting hard for everyone

I PROMISE

Childhood is supposed to be about fun
It’s designed for us to laugh and to learn and to run
But every step that I took was a burden to you
This was made clear to me from the time I was two
I can barely remember a time when I smiled
The pain was so heavy and on me you just piled
All of your guilt about what you had done
When you gave into lust with that woman not mom

I promise there will be a day
When all these bills will be paid
I promise you will see
What you’ve done to me

Did you really believe you were better than me?
Cause I’ve spent a lifetime trying to see
How one man’s mistakes could suddenly be
Laid at my doorstep just so you could be free
How dare you rape my childhood
How dare you break me down
To the point of no return
With just a simple frown

I promise there will be a day
When all these bills will be paid
I promise you will see
What you’ve done to me

I remember your face when I told you I knew
About what you had done and how your vows were untrue
The shock and the horror was just your fake crutch
Me thinks thou doth protest too much

I promise there will be a day
When all these bills will be paid
I promise you will see
What you’ve done to me

It’s not my fault you couldn’t keep it in your pants
So you made me your burden for the “I wont’s” and “I cant’s”
Did it make you feel like more of a man
To lay all the blame at my feet like you planned?

I promise there will be a day
When all these bills will be paid
I promise you will see
What you’ve done to me

It’s been fifty plus years since you started your shit
And you still keep it up cause you just can’t quit
Refusing to believe you did anything wrong
But your time is growing short and it won’t be too long
Someday you will have to look in my eyes
Really, truly look and finally realize
That the burden was YOU
And maybe you should have just been sterilized

I promise there will be a day
When all these bills will be paid
I promise you will see
What you’ve done to me

I WILL BE YOUR RECORD

When you are at your wits end
And the beat, you just can’t find
You’ve tried all of your tricks and trends
And the song has left you blind

I will be your record
On this you can believe
I will be your record
And I will help you see

When you search and scratch and claw and fuss
And still you’ve lost that sense of trust
You’ve mastered everything but this
And the peace you’ve felt has begun to slip

I will be your record
On this you must believe
I will be your record
And I will help you see

When you’re overcome with painful lust
For that one beat you just can’t find
And opening your wrists seems like the better option
So you can leave this all behind

I will be your record
On this you best believe
I will be your record
And I will help you see

Sometimes records have some skips
But not when you play with me
Cause I will be your record
And I will help you see
That life is full of little mistakes
Everyone makes them
Even me

LIFE IN THE PROJECTS

 

He grew up in the projects off Monument, in the shadow of the old City Jail. Spent his days staring up at the giant castle walls. He could see the cells from his window, lit up at night like stars in the void of darkness that was his life.

He would escape.

Hustle a little. Make a little money. Buy a new narrative.

Now he can see his old bedroom from his new cell in the old City Jail.

ROUTINE CALL

 

The call comes in around 3 AM: Loud music complaint, respond and investigate. We knock on the door; Ice T or T-Pain (does it really matter which) blaring from the second floor window. The Old Lady bellows from within:

“Who is it?”

“The Police.”

The door opens with a creak.

“Ma’am, you need to turn the music down.”

“Why I gotta do that? ‘Ain’t nobody in this motherfucker going to work tomorrow.”

The Old Lady has got a point.

MORNING BEER

 

The pint glass shimmers as the condensation moves slowly toward the damp, rotting coaster. Gravity working its endless magic. He sips the froth, winces and swallows. He lights the match on the corner of the splintered bar and stares into the flame.

Will he go home?

He knows she is there with him; accepting his warmth inside her while the condensation moves ever south. He sees them in the flame, wrapped together like mussels in a shell.

Will he… ?

JEALOUSY

 

Jimmy watched a lot of television. He went to the movies a lot too. Jimmy would blog endlessly about the shallowness of this performance; the vapidness of that character. Jimmy would sit in his boxers at three in the morning and shout at the world about the lack of originality in Hollywood these days.

Jimmy was no looker; no Clooney nor Pitt. But Jimmy was no Lithgow either.

Jimmy’s biggest complaint?

“It should’ve been me.”

But Jimmy never tried.

KARMA

 

He had always been told:

“Just wait. What goes around comes around.”

Suffering a lifetime of idiots, ingrates and lesser-thans…

But what if he is the asshole? Those he despises must surely share his feelings. When will it be his turn? Such pleasure taken in seeing thine enemy fall. But thine enemy lies in wait for thee to fall as well. No coin is one sided; no debt a one way street.

Haunted.

When will it be his turn?